"Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work for Me Anymore and My Alternative Solutions"

Every year, millions of people worldwide make New Year's resolutions, hoping to achieve their goals over the year. Some people focus on one specific goal, while others have several they want to accomplish. I would set 3-5 goals for myself, but always strived to prioritize maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Despite starting strong for a week or two, I eventually lost momentum every time, leading to a recurring cycle of disappointment. It wasn't until I realized that resolutions weren't effective for me that I decided to shift my focus toward incorporating weekly and daily attainable self-care goals to reclaim my time.

Self-care is the act of allowing yourself to enjoy activities that bring you peace, joy, and a sense of calm. It is vital to note that self-care is not selfish. It is an essential part of maintaining your physical and mental well-being. While some people may choose to indulge in activities such as a bubble bath with candles, or getting a manicure or pedicure, for others like myself, stillness, tranquility, and rest are go-to activities that provide much-needed rejuvenation.

These are the things that truly fulfill the desires of my heart, allow reserved time for me, and assist in accomplishing my weekly/daily self-care goals:

Connecting with God's Presence Early:

In my household, 5:45 am marks the beginning of our weekday routine. Despite the chaos of packing my kids' lunches and snacks for the day, and preparing breakfast, I relish the moments when I can sit in my living room with a steaming cup of coffee. With the sun or a lamp as my only light, I'm able to tune out all background noise -- whether it's the TV, our dog's paws tapping against the hardwood floor, or even my family getting ready for the day. During this time, I read my daily devotionals and spend time in quiet reflection, feeling the calming presence of God. These fleeting moments of peace are invaluable to me each day, providing me with the clarity and determination I need to face whatever comes my way with a positive attitude.

Transforming My Life: Making Changes That Matter

In the past, I've always made it a point to include exercise and healthy eating in my list of New Year's resolutions. However, I never took it seriously. The stress of daily life would take over, and I would let important things like exercise and balanced meals fall by the wayside. Eventually, they disappeared altogether. As a result, my life became unbalanced. I filled my free time with mindless eating and a sedentary lifestyle, which had a detrimental impact on my health. I struggled with fatigue, sleep deprivation, and high levels of stress. My overall well-being began to suffer, and I felt lost and disoriented.

There comes a time when we all need to make a change, and for me, that moment has arrived. I decided to take immediate action. However, to make any real progress, I realized that I needed to change my outlook first. I stopped making excuses for myself, particularly when it came to working out. I’ve always used time as an excuse, but the truth was that I had been wasting precious hours scrolling through social media and indulging in mindless eating. I had become a couch potato in between working from home. I knew that I had to commit to some form of exercise each day, even if it was just a 30-minute walk or a dance workout. I learned how to reduce my consumption of unhealthy snacks, regulate my portions, and transform my perspective from "living to eat" to "eating to live." These changes have made a significant difference in my mind and body, and I’m starting to feel better than ever.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries and Learning to Say "No”

Declining tasks and requests can be difficult, especially when it comes to family. As someone who is often looked to for solutions and support, I have struggled with establishing boundaries in the past – and still do at times. I was afraid of disappointing others, but I soon found myself burnt out and emotionally depleted. However, I realized that I had been gifted with the ability to motivate others, and had to use this gift wisely. Without proper boundaries, I became an emotional dumping ground to many. To avoid this, I needed to set limits and learn to say "no" without feeling guilty. It's important to note that people will only respect your boundaries if you communicate them. Taking care of myself and prioritizing my own needs was something that I needed desperately.

Prioritizing self-care despite family obligations, which consisted of balancing my roles as a wife, a small business owner, and ensuring the essentials of my children were fulfilled especially my son with unique needs was becoming a daunting responsibility. Ensuring everyone's needs were met while maintaining my own mental and physical health was a challenge. To achieve this, I had to stress to my family that taking time for myself was critical to providing the necessary care for everyone else. Though it wasn't easy, they gradually began to understand that my 'me time' usually involved activities like shopping alone, taking a nap, or simply enjoying some quiet time without interruptions.

Curling up with a good book does the soul good!

I've been an avid reader all my life, from my school days through my twenties. Nevertheless, after turning thirty and having my first child at thirty-one, my collection of books gathered dust. My nightstand was cluttered with books and life was busier than ever, making it difficult to find time to read for pleasure. It was unsettling that I couldn't find time or energy to read due to my busy schedule. However, I decided to take back control of my life this year and establish healthy boundaries that allow things that I use to enjoy. Now, I can create time for reading at home, while waiting in the parent drop-off line, or before starting virtual sessions. Not only did this reignite my passion for reading, but it also became therapeutic and filled a void I had been missing.

Leap and try something new!

In January, I decided to face my long-time fear of water and signed up for swim lessons! For years I’ve been wanting to acquire the skill of swimming especially after everyone in my household learned. My first lesson was indeed quite cumbersome in learning how to float which was my biggest stumbling block. I wanted to quit several times but persevered and decided to keep at it until I've accomplished my goal!

Wrapping Up: A New Year and Realistic Goals

After years of feeling ambivalent, I'm finally excited about starting a new year because I've committed to realistic goals. Every day, I'm inspired by my vision board, particularly three words that stand out: "smile" and "you matter." These seemingly insignificant words remind me that I do matter and that small accomplishments each day or week can bring a new sense of joy, rather than waiting for big wins throughout the year.